The Bus Bench

Scenes from A Daily Dash to Downtown. The Bus Bench is victorious against Blogging.LA. The 10 wins!!!

Amidst a throng of unsuspecting commuters merely returning home after a day working in Santa Monica was a silent albeit overly melodramatic blogging bastard, whose desire to turn a regular bus ride into a remarkable event, well, was probably annoying.

In any event, it took approximately 40 minutes for the Big Blue Bus #10 to get from Yale and Santa Monica Blvd to Olive and 7th. (Starting time was 5:10 p.m. at Santa Monica and 3rd Street). The MTA 439 line took 59 minutes, most likely owing to its street travel at the outset and then the heavy Freeway congestion as it trailed the BBB #10.

Having started earlier as well as arriving first, I elected to take a victory lap on the DASH, but failed to see that I got on the wrong one. By the time I looked up from my camera several minutes later, I realised I was on First Street. It was the final DASH of the evening, and as such I had to walk all the way back to Clifton's where Will was graciously awaiting my return from the not-so-clever bit of boasting I had hoped to have recorded photographically.

Here are some hardly dramatic still photos from the somnambulistic race of the rush hour buses:
       

-BusTard 

editor edit--the gloating title was added by browne, because i'm a little bit of an asshole, a cute asshole, but still an asshole.

Next challenge if you were at Paramount Studio and you wanted to get to Pershing Square for drinks at the Biltmore Gallery Bar. Bus all of the way or a combination bike to the Red Line station. Challengers line up for your ass kicking.

LA Eastside and sunscreen. New blog, new post, same bad attitude.

I found a group blog that will let me play. Lots of LA blogs I can’t even comment on anymore.

Can you believe that? I’m actually banned from two major group blogs.

Blogging LA is not one of them. I’m still allowed to talk there.

I’m now writing for LAEastside a group blog that appreciates me for the obnoxious ass that I am.

I’m so clever and smart, yet I am not ad friendly (LAeastside doesn’t have ads, so that’s not a problem). I’m not kid friendly or even career ladder climbing friendly.

I hate lots of stuff, lots of stuff that other people like to pretend is ok.

I am also self-sabotaging. At one point I was suppose to write some thing for the LA Times, the art section. I was supposed to cover the art walk and I turned in a story that painted me as a voyeur who was stalking artists. It was so freakin’ funny, but the editor dude I don’t think appreciated my sexy slant.

I think things like, “Are you mad?” Were stated…oh well, everyone over there got fired anyway…

What’s the fun of writing if you have to be very dot your i’s and cross your t’s about the whole matter? I have lots of expensive degrees I can get a real job if I really want one, with benefits.

Why be boring about writing when there’s virtually no way to make money from doing it and even fewer ways to get health insurance.

Of course if you are boring, then you go ahead and write boring things. I’m not boring. Why should I fix what’s thoroughly entertaining.

So check out my blog entry on the new LAeastside about how people are really fucking stupid to pay thirty dollars to look at some bridges, so that really rich dudes can sell lofts, because come on, that’s what tours are all about. And how can any group that claims to be about the environment or conservation not at the very least have VERY OBVIOUS alternative transportation directions to an event that the are putting on.

Want to tell me I’m an ass. Go here :)

Browne Molyneux

PS want to spend 30 dollars in a smart way? Go to Caravan Books in downtown LA on 550 South Grand Avenue. This store specializes in books on LA history and California. You can buy a book about the bridges or even talk to the owner and then do your own walking tour that doesn’t have to do with gentrification.

PS this blog is still on in full force. And we're getting ready to do another art project with our art section, so be ready for that.

grosses bises

Secret LA Parking Tip: Free Food4less Shuttle

The most sincere form of flattery is copying...

Food4less, yes Food4less. If you don’t have a car, don't want a car, you’re dark green and you want to go shopping, Food4less will take you (and all the friends you brought with you) home after you’ve done your shopping. The requirements are only that you live within a two mile radius and have bought at least 25 bucks worth of food (that’s pretty low.)

Food4less will actually drop you off at your fucking front door. As you know there are Food4lesses everywhere. And I have found the one in downtown on 6th Street actually pretty nice. I also like the homey atmosphere of the one in Boyle Heights. If your first trip to Food4Less in college caused you shock, “What I have to bag my own groceries?!!! I don't even know how to separate whites and color.” Go back and try again. They clean it now. Seriously,  but they do lock up the better moisturizer, apparently L’oreal Hydra Renewal is like crack to Food4Less aficionados.

I think this is one of the greatest environmentally friendly programs around, not just for the earth environment, but the human environment. There are people who don’t just not drive, because they are dumb or got some epiphany because of a movie.

There are some people who can’t drive owing to:

Visual Impairments
Being Old
Poverty

Oh and some bullshit (passed in 1993 not 1953) that says you have to be a citizen to drive a fucking car.

This is such a great resource and a great fine especially for my “non-driving how am I going to get home all of these apples, vodka and cheese in my bicycle basket” tooshie.

Go to Food4Less, it’s owned by Kroger foods which owns Ralphs. So if they strike again you can’t go anymore, but if there is no strike feel free to. I don’t know why Ralphs doesn’t have this nifty service. I don’t know why Trader Joe’s, with it’s hideous parking situation doesn’t have this nifty service. Every Food4Less has this service.

Call the store near you to check the hours of the free shuttle operations; it usually starts running around 12pm.

by Browne