Do any of the big kids remember Jerry’s Video on Hillhurst. One of the last hold outs of the family of video store owners that knew their shit in the neighborhood.
Of course this was not always a good thing.
“I’d like the movie Sixteen Candles please,” me.
Jerry just stares at me.
Jerry didn’t exactly rhyme with friendly.
Remember the 90s when people wouldn’t allow (without much grief) you to get a movie that didn't have subtitles, foreign directors or artful nudity. That was when sarcasm and smart ass comments were born.
In the 80s no one even knew that irony and satire could exist among the unwashed masses, but the 90s changed all that. You couldn’t even order an ice blended coffee drink without someone giving you shit.
“Why don’t you just go to McDonalds and order a shake?” barista.
BusTard and I had to go to Jerry’s since we didn’t feel like walking to Video Journey’s (the indy video place that actually has customer service, keep that number in your address book.)
We were looking for the video Guerilla, which has something to do with Patty Hearst.
We go to the store and it’s closed, but not just closed it's ransacked. I pressed my head against the gate and peered inside (because I’m nosy) and I saw videos on the floor, empty boxes and
empties. BusTard tried to reach his hand inside the mailbox, but I suggested he stop.
“Don’t do that. What if he’s dead in there. The only fingerprints they’ll be able to find are yours and then they will think you killed him and if you are in jail whose going to do the production for my magazine?” me.
“Shut-up, they can only get your fingerprints if they have your fingerprints on record,” BusTard.
So I decided to ask questions around the stripmall, but shaped like a square complex.
First I talked to a lady who owned the liquor store next door and she said, “He moved.” She seemed nervous when she said it, but maybe I wanted her to be nervous, so my whole he was dead and rotting in the back would have some high heels to it.
I then went to Daily Donut a place I used to frequent more, but now I’m pretty dedicated to staying a size 2.
“What happened to Jerry?”
“I don’t know?” Donut guy.
In my head I was like,"Oh yeah he’s dead." I was so convinced, but then Ernest came up.
Ernest is a person I had never met before this day, but he seemed to know everything.
BusTard and Ernest almost got in fight because Ernest is pro-changing and business and BusTard is a crustie (he says back when I was a little Browne in the 80s and he is no longer that way, but he seems pretty crustie to me) and not into change.
Ernest told me that Jerry wasn’t dead and that I had an interesting imagination. The deal simply was that his rent had gone up, so he had to retire. He also told me that the lady who helped Jerry run the store, but never talked, was his wife and the younger guy who actually had the physical ability to smile, was his brother.
All of this time I thought Jerry was just one of those video freaks hanging out in his apartment with lots of videos and lots of books by himself, but no, I was wrong he had an actual life outside the video store.
Probably a freakish Harvey Pikar life, but still that's a life.
So at first I was kind of bummed he wasn’t chopped up in little pieces in the back, but then I was happy to know that I had completely misinterpreted him and he was more of human being than I thought, but still he could have been a little nicer.
John Hughes is not that horrible of a director.
Jerry's Video RIP 8/30/07 - You guys were assholes, but you had a great selection of films.
by Browne
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