The Bus Bench

Will Detour be Detoured?

UPDATE: I spoke this afternoon with Goldenvoice event producer Phil Blaine—a downtown resident, I might add—and he stated that with the coöperation of the Secret Service, LAPD, LAFD and Clinton's people, the two events should pose no problems to the attendees. Clinton's fund-raiser will take place from 6 p.m. until 7:30 p.m. and will have reserved parking as well as offer egress in Harlem Place (the alley between the Edison and the cigar/art shoppe) whereas the main gate of Detour—half a block away—will not interfere with the Edison soiree. The security perimeter for Clinton will not intrude on Detour.

The Detour Fest will be this weekend, and Browne and I will once again be marching proudly and unpaid through the gates because, well, it's a street festival and we already paid when the taxman had his hand out.

Or so we hope. . .

Alternative Transportation in Time of War

In pro-Western Georgia, where Russia has made quite a mess (one that I believe possesses far larger ramifications than may yet be understood) by invading the former satellite, it appears that not everyone is concerned with the war. "I gotta get to the mall before it closes!"

-BusTard

Apparently, The Sidewalk Is Too Narrow

I am not sure what prompted this wheelchair-bound denizen of Skid Row to take to the road, but I hafta state it was amusing to watch her jet along Spring Street ahead of the DASH as well as Metro buses while private motor vehicles zoomed by.

-BusTard

 

 

Easter Egg Hunt for New Transit Ways

Last Wednesday, Pam from Santa Monica wasted our hump-day lunchtimes with pleas to give unpaid ideas about transit funding (while those wasting the money in the first place were content to sit back and plan for more ways to waste public monies, eh, Roger Snoble?) even as she granted we little people naught but canned answers and ludicrous excuses. Thanks, Pam; feel free to stay in Santa Monica next time, seeing as you have too little time to offer Metro between your SM city council agenda and the occasional month in Australia.

Anyhow, this weekend I were invited to pop over and help hunt Easter Eggs. being a person of considerable impatience, I elected to accept the invitation as well as introduce a scheme to just get through with it. (I found out that the kids—and especially their parents!—did not shar emy appreciation for using a backhoe to find easter Eggs.) Along the way, I realised that, just as it will be an emergency thoroughfare for military ground forces should a county-wide crisis occur that renders inoperable the infrastructure, the L.A. River is a viable alternative to the Freeways as well as where the trains do not run and the buses no longer run.

 

(Cheers to Browne for being on-hand with the little cam!)

A Weak Ago Today: L.A. Marathon Retrospective

A dreadful pun, to be sure, but not nearly as dreadful as the mess of downtown traffic and subway screw-ups that marked the 2008 L.A. Marathon.

Last weekend there was the L.A. Marathon. It is an event that much of the rest of the world knows occurs round this time annually. Then there is Metro, the City Council, the meter maids and most anyone associated with "keeping L.A. moving," or whatever the bullshit motto of the meter maids might be. Then again, the L.A. Marathon has been an annual event for approximately as long as the "city" of Los Angeles has been bereft of a comprehensive transit plan.

Here are some videos from last Sunday, above ground and below, that is sure to prompt anyone who has lived in a real city to ask: "What the hell is wrong with the morons charged with running what alleges to be the second largest city in the United States?"

From Tony V (who alleges to be the mayor), to City Transportation Chair Wendy Greuel (whose questionable constituency in Sunland-Tujunga is beneath anything I have witnessed
in the hinterlands of Tennessee), to the outrageously evasive Metro CEO Roger Snoble, to the insincerity of LACMTA (Metro) Chair Pam O'Connor, to everyone else directly involved at the top, there is such a huge hole in accountability, competence, finances and above all, sincerity—I will be frank: EVERY one on the MTA board is a flat-out liar and cheat—that it is no wonder that this so-called city is such a bleeding mess. Even when a potential world-class event is planned, Metro and its associate idiots are not on hand to let it be a damn mess.  One might see it on the news, however, so I spent the day documenting that which would not be were Metro, the L.A. city council, et al, not concerned with adultery, covering up drunken wives' wrecks and junkets to Australia.

Did I mention the millions of dollars spent on green kiosks in which pee should have been collected but after many, many months remain unopened?

 

 

 

 

 

-BusTard

L.A. Marathon: Scenes From A Real Loft

It ain't the New York Marathon, and the 6th Street Bridge is not Verrazano-Narrows, but there is no dearth of activity in every realm of this fledging kernel of a metropolis. The streets, the L.A. Ditch, er River, and all manner of air activity was the order of today wherever the route ran, even where my purgatorial loft happens to sit. Here is a photo and video of the what happened in the air.

What I found fun was that which most angelinos might find most disturbing: a small flight of AH-1 Cobra gunships. Replete with missiles that would fail to discriminate between potential collateral damage and the shooter that would be wasting his (or her) time opening fire in a crowd during such an internationally watched event, the Cobra is an amazing, fast and heavily armoured gunship.

Six inches of armour keeps the pilot and nav comfortable from ground-based small arms fire. The two main rotors imply speed and manoeuvrability; the pylons offer a variety of offensive weapons and the small size of the ship allows landing in seemingly impossible environmental conditions.

 

 

On the other end of the spectrum was the LTA (Lighter Than Air) ship. I waited for it to get near the Library Tower, as I like that sort of image. (I am a big fan of the Empire State Building, and while even my parents were not alive when the Hindenberg first visited New York City and said building had its mooring vane for what was supposed to be the world's way of air travel—and we all know that that ended when the same airship that made such a splash also made its spectacular crash landing—I am nevertheless greatly appreciative of that first moment.)

-BusTard

Metro's Cunning Stunt Canned for February

For February's little PR cyber stunt, Pam O'Connor has elected to "go Metro" and give her one-hour session a miss. Those hoping to get on board are advised to instead sit home and watch as what promises to be far more savvy (yet no less empty) answers to only the happiest straphangers' queries get posted. I sent a question, and I am looking forward to seeing if it or the 90/91 will arrive first. Don't wait up, folks.

In the Metro release announcing the absence, "Pam from Santa Monica!" is stated to not be available "due to a busy travel schedule." One wonders if Pam is enjoying junkets to real cities where the public transit actually works, or is doing like the rest of us and trying to get to work on time using the conveyances she so exuberantly advocates. If the latter reason, I am sure we all understand why she cannot make it to work on time after having canceled the January chat within three hours of its scheduled time and canceling the February "discussion" well in advance.

Perhaps Pam is preening to be the next Miss Traffic.

Dead Escalator Report 17: 03 February 2008

Not three days ago, this escalator was working. (It is the first top-most video, via the link.) Then the MTA crews came in (to make a dog-and-pony show during an OSHA engineer's general inspection) and now, it is dead.

Thanks, MTA. We can only hope your mechanics are a little less stupid when working on your private motor vehicles while you drive to work to conceive campaigns telling the denizens of Los Angeles to get out of their cars and go metro.

 

Metro to E. 1st Street residents: Get some excercise, you fat lazy fucks!

OK, so perhaps the verbiage is a bit harsh. But the pain is all the same. The people who do not ride the bus but claim to manage it, the people who take your money but offer shoddy services, and the people who threaten you with eight years of jail for tagging buses that are literally falling apart, have created yet another travesty.

The First Street bridge closure has forced the 30, 31 and 330 lines to head south along Alameda to E. 4th Street, where it turns east all the way to Cummings east of the 5 Freeway. According to the MTA's notice and map, the last stop is at Alameda and E. 1st. No other alternate stops are offered over the nearly two-mile trek, which is tantamount to the MTA refusing service to those straphangers who usta disembark along E. 1st between the L.A. River and Boyle.

I have filmed the 30 and 31 going along E. 4th and they do not stop between Alameda and Boyle. One wonders if the hilly trek back to the current purgatory along E. 1st is a distance that Pam O'Connor, Roger Snoble, Tony V and/or any other MTA board members have the ability to walk.

* editor's note, E 1st Street is closed for the Gold Line construction.

Skid Row Shakedown

When it comes to creative ways of wasting money, Los Angeles is a damn good contender. The hypocrisy of jaywalking cops on Skid Row (where thousands of jay-walking tickets have been handed out for the sake of eliminating the population), blocking traffic to pick up a sheet of cardboard, and loitering for no other reason than that they can, seems to be no big deal. Meantime, the buses are always breaking down (but when was the last time one witnessed a police car being towed?), the potholes are rampant (despite Tony V's ceremonial tamping down of just one of them!) and the whole street system continues to atrophy (the Bureau of Street Services' charter is no more than mere words on a Web site).