"Honk if You Love Open Space"?

Over on some blog that is too concerned with white-washing the reality of this dinky, two-bit town's cretinous core, we could not help but read, bug-eyed, the hypocrisy of some wanna-be west-siders acting arty in their laughable attempt to be green. A comment was posted, but we do not expect it to be there when our drunk collective arse comes to, sometime Saturday night, so we decided—as is the tradition by our asshole team leader, whose journeyman status harkens back two full decades in New York and Los Angeles publishing—to slap that shit on our own decrepit vehicle.

http://www.blogdowntown.com/blog/2879#comments

Surely this is a joke, right? Did Margaret Cho divorce Rev. Al because he has resurrected the L.A. Cacophony Society?

L.A. remains a laughing stock of any real metropolis—size does not matter, despite the sprawl of these sixty, seventy or too many more suburbs in search of a city; as such, eLAy will never be a cosmopolitan spot owing to the collective demeanour such as what Mr. Fuentes so eagerly offers above. And any real PR firm will be on the receiving end of two to a few grand for such "organic" PR. (I know, having worked with Priority, Delicious Vinyl, Atlantic and EMI Records/Music for some sixteen years, as a free agent.)

The harrowing irony of "Honk if you love open space" is simply astounding. Why not get your McAss out of your McHybrid, and make public transportation viable? Or work to get bicycle lanes created? Or make the wreck of wasted space, Pershing Square, something more than its most defining icon: a quarter-million-dollar public toilet that barely operates properly? (Pershing Square is the way it is today for no other reason than it used to be the town square; the activity of such a public space frightened the powers that-be and so the space underwent several changes to disabuse the once-popular notion that it could be a centre for speaking up. Just try walking on what passes for grass there, if you wanna find out where your tax dollars are being wasted.)

I may well have made a mistake to come back out here. Instead of wasting my time bitching about obvious hypocrisy, I could have taken the 1 uptown to 116th, walked through the gates and languished—with a good book, of course, or maybe just a fat flask of single malt scotch—under the trees on the east side (where the Wi-Fi works best, just inside the little wire "fence") of Columbia's quad, or some other green open space. (Or, as it is now the weekend, gone downtown from there to The Park for a car-free, HONK-free day near the Reservoir, or down to the round Orchard at Houston, to enjoy that which the hicks in this two-bit shanty-town cannot seem to do: STOP DRIVING CARS and START MAKING A DIFFERENCE.

Do I really have to belabour the bleeding obvious? If you have to "honk if you love open space," you contribute directly to the paucity of it as well as the ugliness of what is left in southern CA.

I can only imagine that if some bums pushed an Ag[gro]bin—from what usta be Skid Row—into a parking space in front of Meléndrez there on Olive, and put out a sign that said, "Honk if you think I give a fuck about your open space," the "greenanistas" would be seeing red.

In the end, there would be just another parking space taken up, temporarily, and vacated in a more violent fashion when one of the Melendrez Sisters called the cops.

When I lived on 9th and C, and went uptown to 110th (for the express desire to wander through The Park to 59th), even my New York gait of seven MPH (a lazy gait, that; be sure to check your rear view mirrors when my Brooklyn boot-leather gets going) is average yet requires some TWO HOURS. I spent many years in Downtown L.A. long before the lofties arrived (can anyone tell name the unique aspect of the olde post office at 5th and Spring, down the street from the Valuta —where KOMA, Feral House, Transparency and Angry Thoreauan were housed?) and it were no more than a quick juant up to Temple, then back to the office, then on down to the little cafe where Spring split, and if I wanted to start to stretch my legs, down to Washington Blvd. I was back to my own space in an hour. I imagine I passed a few "parks" by any Los Asseleno's defintion, not to mention some self-serving architects narrow perspective of "open space."

-BusTard

http://www.transportationalternatives.org/
http://www.nycsr.org/

Comments

[Browne]

Hey!!! I remember that website. They deleted our comments. Which kind of sucked, because I find that site amusing, like if People magazine was run by a bible camp leader.

I didn't even think that the comments were that obnoxious. We didn't curse or nothin'.

Browne

[Jane]

Mrs. Asseleno to you sir.

Jane

[Fred Camino]

Problem is I don't think you understood the point. You say, "The harrowing irony of "Honk if you love open space" is simply astounding. Why not get your McAss out of your McHybrid, and make public transportation viable? Or work to get bicycle lanes created? Or make the wreck of wasted space, Pershing Square, something more than its most defining icon: a quarter-million-dollar public toilet that barely operates properly? " Without much understanding. Is awareness not good enough? Should we blast your blog for just writing about shit and not doing shit? At least the parking lot parks were visible, and perhaps got people to think, if even for a moment, of an alternative lifestyle - one where the car isn't central to ones experience (an idea you seem to believe in - I think). Sure everyone hates hipsters (especially if they themselves are hipsters), but c'mon. If you had made an attempt to talk to the Melendrez white chicks you would have found that they are bus riders - which in this city is really something for white chicks. You speak as if "making public transportation viable", "getting bicycle lanes created", and rebooting Pershing Square are things that can easily be done - but you've got to know it's not that easy. Perhaps you believe you're the only one fighting for such causes, or at least the only one who has "heart" since you're supposedly not a pansy lily white hipster, and that's fine if it makes you feel better about yourself, but it's simply not true. It's so easy to hate on white "gentrifiers", but to me it's just another form of that thing every denies participating in but actually indulges in - racism. "Gentrification" is just a euphemism for "the whites are moving in" which is no different from whites going "the Mexicans are moving in" ... each group of assholes fighting to preserve a "way of life" that was never theirs to begin with. So let's just take it easy and recognize the things we share - like the desire to make this city a little more livable.

[Browne]

Greetings Fred,

Our first commenter that is not crazy and that none of us has ever seen naked.

Oh yay. Thanks for visiting. I enjoy your blog on LA Transport.

Now in regards to gentrification it is also a euphemism for artists moving out and yuppies moving in, like the industrial section of downtown LA. I’m almost sure that’s what BusTard means, though he’ll have to answer that himself.

We don’t really talk in euphemism here, seriously we don’t. We’ll just say it.

Most of the people I knew who were living illegally in odd questionable living situations were white.

All of the people BusTard were talking about are white.

I don't know if you were raised here, but Silver Lake and (some parts) of Los Feliz used to be home to artist as Venice and Santa Monica was (of course we artists pushed out many working class people of color, it’s very hard for me to talk about things in certain ways, because I’m a person of color, but I had money, I'm broke now but...so I’m not sure which team I’m on in this conversation, but I think I’m talking about more so class, so I’ll put myself in the artist category) but in general the artists, the eccentrics were white.

Now "better" white people are moving in...with strollers and investments.

Yes it is each group fighting to preserve their way of life. It just sucks when you don't have enough money to stay where you want, but on some levels for me it's hard for me to feel very bad for some people who are getting pushed out, because it's like didn't you see the writing on the wall. You're been essentially slumming here for 20 years, you've got no savings, you never bought anything and now...well you know, shit happens...it’s a good lesson for me.

What is happening to artist now and happened to them in Venice will definitely not happen to me. That’s why this blog has ads, it says “Yeah I’m creative, but I like eating too.”

Browne